lessons

October 31, 2014

The Power of Positivity

dancing-flower-girlHave you ever stayed quiet in a conversation even though you wanted to shout your truth from the balcony?

Then when someone asked you what’s wrong, why aren’t you talking? You say something silly like, “I don’t have anything to say.” All the while you are convincing yourself and anyone that listens that you are “trying to be positive”, and didn’t want to say anything that would stir the pot.That’s BOLOGNA!

Positivity is not hiding your truth or swallowing your words. True positivity comes from recognizing why you have certain thoughts, feelings, reactions and then using positivity to set a new foundation for more powerful, inspiring thoughts, visions, words and actions.

Its like cultivating a garden, you wouldn’t just sprinkle some seeds in the ground and hope for the best. You would dig up the old soil, the weeds, the debris and then put down new soil, maybe you’d mix in some of the old soil because it does have some valuable nutrients and earth minerals (ie lessons and growth and experiences). You know that this new soil gives your plants a better foundation and more possibilities to flourish.

Sometimes we use “I was trying to be positive” as an umbrella term. The problem with “trying-to-be”-anything is that it will eventually come back and bite you in the ass. Literally like a dog chasing its tail, you will keep going in circles every time the same situation or words are spoken. In the game of life you can’t just go under the positivity umbrella and protect yourself from the rain.

In life we must dig deep into our hearts and bring up all the crap that we have attached ourselves to, the words of rejection by the mean girl in middle school, or the feeling of unworthiness when our parents left us. Whatever it is, you have to bring it up to recognize that that isn’t you! That girl’s words or your parents actions don’t define you.

It feels like they define you because you have identified with those thoughts in the confines of your own mind! The beauty of recognizing, bringing it up and turning it into, “that wasn’t personal, it had nothing to do with me. I am worthy and wonderful.” That’s positivity! It’s a choice based on knowing and acknowledging the truth about what really happened.

A few weeks ago, my husband in the span of a few days kept asking me, “what’s wrong with you?” Now to an outsider, these are simple words and should not cause any harm. Yet, every time he used these words, I seemed to experience sharp pains in my heart and the natural “positive” reaction was let it go, don’t say anything, he’s not using any words that are hurtful.

Finally day 3 or 4 of dog-chasing-the-tail (because the universe will keep presenting you with these same situations until you finally address it) I kinda exploded, “Really, what’s wrong with me!?!?! Nothing is wrong with me!! I’m just in a rush and trying to get a lot done! AND there is nothing wrong with that!!!!”

Uh no, there is nothing wrong with that, but there is something obviously wrong with your reaction girlfriend! So after some soul searching, I realized I was upset by these words, because all my life, I have been telling myself, “something IS wrong with me;” I was unlovable, shameful, tainted based on my childhood traumas and experiences.

Recognizing that I was identifying with my childhood experiences and that a simple question could set me off, helped me break old habits and thought processes, and turn my lesson into growth. That to me is positivity, recognizing something is wrong, digging deep to find out why, bringing it up and choosing to turn it into the fertilizer that will help me bloom.

“When shit happens, turn it into fertilizer.” ~Kurt Blacken

 

Photo Credit: http://www.findyourmiddleground.com

April 24, 2014

9 Lessons Learned Through Breathing

This blog was originally posted on eatlivelife.com 

“The only mistake in life is the lesson not learned.” Albert Einstein

In my experience, too many people are affected by breathing because they are either not breathing fully, or holding their breath, or breathing incorrectly.

Most of us squeeze our bellies in when we inhale and push our bellies out when we exhale, keeping all the air in the upper chest area. This is incorrect. The reason we do this is because subconsciously we feel we only breathe with our lungs, which are located in the chest.

The truth is the diaphragm is the main breathing muscle. This muscle when used correctly performs all the breathing and helps our lungs fill to capacity. Breathing correctly means being mindful that your diaphragm moves down and out when you inhale, in and up when you exhale.

Breathing affects our focus, clarity, health, and our temperament. If you aren’t breathing correctly, you aren’t allowing enough oxygen in your body. Essentially depriving our bodies of what it needs most to survive and depriving our minds of peace.

At the same time, breathing doesn’t just keep us alive, it teaches us beautiful lessons we can carry into our daily lives.

1. Natural Detox.

Our lungs take in oxygen from the air and remove carbon dioxide from our bodies. This exchange of gases is cleansing our bodies. If we don’t bring enough oxygen into our bodies the carbon dioxide pools in our blood and causes improper function of organs. So every breath is teaching our bodies to detox itself.

2. Giving.

Only when we can fully give all of ourselves, can we truly receive.

When we cleanse the carbon dioxide out of our bodies we give it to the world. Plants and organisms use it as their main source of survival. When we release every last bit of breath, we are truly learning to let go and give back to the earth.

3. Acceptance.

Accepting fully without judgment or criticism allows our self to feel complete.

Every time we inhale, we are accepting the oxygen created as a by-product of plant synthesis. Our entire survival is based on this one gas emitted from the plants around us. When we fill our lungs to capacity, we are fully and completely accepting every bit of oxygen into our bodies.

4. Trust.

Trust can only be felt. Try it. Take a large inhale. Bringing your belly down and out. Expanding your chest and raising your collarbones. Then exhale completely, Bringing your belly in and up and expelling every last bit of breath. You almost feel like you can’t breath because you have expelled all the air. Keep the air away and hold your breath for a count of 4 seconds.

You can do this even if it’s hard because you trust that in the next moment, you will choose to inhale and your lungs will be full again.  This is the trust between humans and the universe.

5. Magic.

Do you have tightness somewhere in your body? Well sit in a position that will stretch that area. Try the pigeon pose, for someone who has tight hips. The pose or your stretch may bother you initially, and be uncomfortable.

Now focus on your breathing, inhale allowing air into the tight area. Exhale all stagnant energy from that area. Keep focusing on releasing the tightness through your breath. After a few breaths something magical happens. Your tightness releases or the stretch is way more tolerable. Magic.

6. Love Your Body.

“Take care of your body. It’s the only place you have to live.” Jim Rohn

Oxygen is our survival. By breathing we keep our organs and systems functioning properly, so we can keep living. Every time we breathe, we are showing care and love for our bodies.

7. Internal Massage.

Breathing allows our blood to circulate and supply every cell of our bodies. When our bodies feel the blood flow through our muscles and joints, it gets a whirlpool like massage; a natural massage to our internal organs. And who doesn’t love a massage?

8. Proper Posture.

Just mentioning the word POSTURE to people has them sitting straighter, now tie breathing into that and you have the shoulders going back.

A natural and automatic reflex to proper breathing is proper body mechanics. Your body naturally has to be in good alignment and posture to create more space in your heart center and expansion of your chest to allow more air in.

9. Balance.

There is a balance of good posture and allowing more air in. The balance of giving away carbon dioxide and taking in oxygen. A balance between detox and massage and loving our bodies. This balance creates life within us.

The simple act of breathing, can teach us so much about life. Be apart of it. Take a proper deep breath and accept this beautiful gift that breathing gives.