OF COURSE! Who doesn’t have expectations! Even when we try to pray them away, or wear rubber bands around our wrists and snap them with every expectational thought we think (no? no one else is this masochistic?) ha!
The point is we know they are not good for any relationship. Especially not the one with ourselves, we’re setting ourselves up to fail. It’s also a “my-way-or-the- highway” thinking. Can you see why this would pose a problem when creating a “you and I are one” type of atmosphere with someone else?
So if one person in the relationship has an expectation, what happens if it doesn’t get met? Is it a deal breaker? And if its not a deal breaker then why have it at all?
We have them because they are taught. They are learned from observing other people’s relationships. It gives us something to hold on to. As long as you have this expectation, then the relationship won’t die, there’s hope. Does it sound stupid to you too? Hope of an unachievable reality.
An expectation is your egos way of a measuring the quality of someone’s love. Why does love have to be measured? If something needs to have a quantifiable measurement then its a rule and your rules may need adjusting where love, happiness, relationships are concerned.
Like in order for me to be loved:
1. you always make me coffee every morning
2. you should put away the laundry
3. you have to praise me every single day
I mean when you put it that way, who’s screaming YAS! Sign me up for that relationship! Haha!! NO THANKS is right!
“Trade your expectations for appreciation and your whole world will change instantly.” ~Tony Robbins
Its that simple, just when I’m about to release the fury of an unmet expectation on one of my loved ones, I stop myself and replace it with an appreciation of them and it transforms our connection instantly.
The other day I was upset that everyone in my household, walked up and down the steps atleast 3-4 times and didn’t take even 1 of the 10 large items sitting in the path. I mean large like shoes, laundry baskets, musical instruments, hair brushes, things you’d definitely see. I had every intention of being right and making my point, can’t you see me now all purple faced with green warts rubbing my fingers together like “oh boy this will be good, I got a good point!”
Instead, I realized I’d rather have peace and spread happy, AND more importantly, I wanted to preserve my lovers spirit, so I said, “thank you for being so helpful. I’ve noticed you put your dishes away and bring in the mail every day, without me complaining or even asking. “
THEN…guys it was like magic! A miracle happened!! THEY were like no problem, I’ll take these very large items that I blindly missed before and put them away for you!
Ok so a bit of an exaggeration, but you get the point, it got done and that wasn’t even the intent. The bigger surprise was the love in the room, the gratitude, the joy that was literally palpable.
So now I’m still rubbing my hands together excited about this aw-spiring magic I have access to. It transforms relationships, moments and situations instantaneously, and what a beautiful gift to give someone!
Just in time for the holidays!
Wishing you guys an amazing holiday season!!
I appreciate every moment you take something you’ve read here and make it a reality. THANK YOU for being so kind and giving my words meaning. Either by sharing, doing or living our best lives! I truly appreciate you and love you!
Give the gift of appreciation!!
AND give yourself the gift of peace and love and happy!