What’s Scarier Than Fear?




Have you ever been so scared that you can feel your stomach in your throat, an empty feeling in your heart and your body freezes like a deer in the headlights, you can’t move, speak or think anything but “shit I’m going to jail?”

Fear is just a thought. Its a very important thought because it manifests into our bodies, minds and being and makes us feel incapacitated.

Have you gotten an email or phone call from someone claiming to be from the IRS or some government agency wanting money and threatening that the police will show up at your door in a matter of minutes if you don’t pay some fine??

Did you know that people believe this? And most people actually pay?!

Even I have received a call from someone on my voicemail saying they were from the IRS and that I had to call back or I was going to be under criminal investigation.

Of course, my first instinct was fear. Then very quickly I asked myself, “Would the IRS leave a automated voicemail with a callback number? And from an area code that is not even listed? …the answer is No!

HOWEVER…there are a lot of sweet, innocent, lovingly gullible people who do give in. I know this because these cons are making BILLIONS in profit as reported by CNN. Also because people from my own family have given money!! I KNOW!!?? Crazzzyyy!!!

Let me tell you about how my uncle, who is such a smart, savvy, successful businessman, went to Walmart and paid $5000, because he thought his visa bill was overdue and that cops will show up at his house immediately!! I mean I don’t have words for this sad scenario, except I couldn’t even make this stuff up.

I do however, have words about how fear can make a person do, think, say and be the extreme opposite of who they are. I think about how my own fear of failure would turn me into a lying piece of sack, just so I would feel accepted.

I mean haven’t we all done this? Hello! Am I alone? ….crickets…

Well, I am willing to fess up and say, yes my fears of spiders or of being a horrible mother or even the fear of a failed marriage, have turned me into the extreme opposite of who I am. I’ll do things like yell, run away, say things that sound obsessive.

I know….OMG! But its true. We all do things in fear that we may never do if we were in any other state of being. In any other state we may ask questions rather than assume! I mean I was assuming that people wouldn’t like me for me, so I had to be someone else to impress them. I was assuming that the spider was a deadly poisonous one who could kill me from 8 feet away.

And if you think about it, what is fear? Fear is an emotion made up by your own thoughts, sometimes nothing physical has even happened.

I’ve never been bit by a spider, and my uncle has never done anything illegal (I mean that’s hear say…but you get the idea ;), yet he thinks that an unpaid visa bill will land him in jail?!

Think about when you go through a parking garage at night and the fear that you will be attacked comes over you.
Have you ever been attacked?
Is anyone else around?
Most likely the answer is NO. No one is even around, you don’t even see or hear anyone, yet we instinctually have this fear.

Its sad, its annoying, its terrifying! But when you sit down and ask yourself why you keep allowing yourself to be victim to these thoughts of fear, one word comes up…Comfort.

“People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering, that is familiar.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

Our egos love situations that are controlled, where we know the outcome and can sit comfortably doing nothing but being robots! Well that’s great…if you want to be a lab rat or a robot. But…

If you was meant to be controlled you would’ve come with a remote! ~Unknown 

I, however, want to live life. And life happens when we are uncomfortable. Think about wanting to go away somewhere completely outside your “norm,” like Peru or Thailand, wherever.

The first thing that comes up is this weird tug in your belly, basically you are feeling uncomfortable. However, when/if you do muster courage to travel, you realize how amazing it is, how much growth you gain. But if you let fear drive your vehicle then you never explore.

Think about something as simple as having a conversation. Last month, I wanted to talk to my brother about needing his support because I was going through a hard time in my life and that I was feeling distant from him.

This seems like a simple conversation, talking about my feelings, which cannot be right or wrong, they are my feelings. Then talking about a solution, fixing or improving the situation.

But when it came time to actually make the call, I started to get butterflies or like a pit in my stomach. My palms became sweaty and my scalp started to tingle (I didn’t even know it could do that!).

I could’ve allowed these feelings to stop me. I could’ve stayed comfortable in knowing that “he is who he is and I am who I am and this will pass.” Thankfully, I mustered the courage to do the thing that made me uncomfortable! I talked to him!

What happened was amazing….possibilities opened up…endless possibilities (see what I did there 😉

He and I reconnected! We got our relationship back (he and I are like peas in a pod, maybe even like


….and I would’ve spend the next few days/weeks/months in misery waiting for this episode to “pass” if I hadn’t called him.

I’m starting to love being uncomfortable (well on paper). But I’m getting used to this space. Its where life happens. Its where we connect, have adventures and LIVE! Its where we actually think rationally! Recognizing that something is fishy about making an official government payment at Walmart?

What’s scarier than fear?

A wasted life. Where we live in comfort, stay small, and suffer. We give up buckets of money without asking questions. We live disconnected and alone thinking we’re being independent. No, you’re living in fear.

“Let your faith be bigger than your fear.” ~Anonymous

Photo Credit:

Love is My Truth

There was a time when fear ruled my heart,
There was a time I thought laughing about your weaknesses was good thing.

I am wiser now.
I know my truth now.
I am love and love doesn’t do those things.

There was a time when fear held me back from communicating,
There was a time when I thought standing up for myself was too exhausting,
When silence became the best option.

I am wiser now.
I know my truth now.
I am love and love doesn’t do those things.

There was a time when fear was considered good, “makes a person stronger,”
There was a time when yelling was the only way of being heard,
When being alone was all I thought I needed.

I am wiser now.
I know my truth now.
I am love and love doesn’t do those things.

There was a time when lying about my feelings would make you like me,
There was a time when accepting my own needs seemed selfish,
When comforting you seemed like the best choice.

I am wiser now.
I know my truth now.
I am love and love doesn’t do those things.

Love is my voice.
Love is my truth.
Love is me.

Fully Expressed Me

photo-7The Road To Greatness Begins with Realizing your Fear, Letting It Go,
& Believing in Yourself. 
My Journey Started Here…

 I wasn’t upset with you for leaving, even though I felt alone.
I understood its what you had to do.

When you would call, I wanted to hear “I love you.” “I miss you.”
Instead I heard “eew your gross,” when I coughed into the phone.

When you came back to get me I wanted hugs and kisses.
Instead I got clothes and gifts.

I wanted you to motivate me, be proud of me, push me to believe in myself.
Instead I was told “girls shouldn’t talk loud or laugh loud.” “Girls can’t be doctors.”

I wanted so bad to be shown love, so I could show you all that was hidden inside of me.
I wanted so bad to feel I was worth something, so I could own that for myself.

I wanted to be free, to speak, to think, to feel, to be My Self.
Instead I have a building size load of crap, of what I shouldn’t be, couldn’t be, wouldn’t be,
and what do I do with that.

People tell me I’m so fun, so free, so powerful, so inspiring.
Yet I see emptiness there.

I see someone who has beautiful thoughts, but cannot speak.
I see someone who has big dreams, but is too afraid to act.
I see someone who is driven and full of energy, but lays around wasting away.

I want to change the world.
I believe I can.
Yet here I still stand, in this shit that doesn’t even smell anymore.

In My Daughter’s Eyes

I am Fearless.
I climb the highest peak in the park,
and slide down hands in the air, stark.

I am Kindness.
Believing sharing is caring,
being forgiving and fairing.

I am Love.
Full of infinite hugs and kisses,
worth way more than material riches.

I am Support.
The hand that holds hers,
in times of wonderment or fears.

I am Comfort.
The blanket she cuddles,
sometimes whole hearted, sometimes so subtle.

I am Strength.
I move mountains for her dreams,
in her honor nothing is extreme.

I am Beautiful.
My hair, my clothes,
my grace, my flows;
I am fit to be a real princess.

I am a Teacher.
I hold the answers to the unknown,
maybe even the formula for becoming grown.

I am a Protector.
I know the thoughts before she speaks,
I know the moves before she leaps.

I am Crazy.
Like the Hulk or the Mad Scientist,
ping-ponging between loudest and quietest.

I am a Hero.
I make bad dreams go away,
and save her from spiders that prey.

I am Peace.
I allow calmness and clarity,
embracing her in a light of sincerity.

I am Fun.
Jumping, dancing,
playing, and prancing.

I am Every Mother, every mother is in Me.
Even if I lose faith, I know the truth lies,
in my daughter’s eyes.