I recently have had a few of my dearest cousins and friends say, “you are truly my role model.” My immediate response was, OMG! How amazing! How sweet! I even said thank you and had a massive smile on my heart.
AND then reality hits!
Although, I am so grateful and appreciative that someone would see me this way. Role models come with expectations and goals and the pressure to be on my best behavior. Think about your role model. Some of you may be thinking about athletes, philantropists, or celebrities. Do you think you put some pressure on them to be the best…for you?
Let’s take Tiger Woods, for example. Fantastic golfer and probably a huge role model to many many people out there. Unfortunately, when all the stories surfaced about his personal life, think about how many people were shocked, offended, maybe even hurt.
Why? Because he was titled their role model. Did this mean he wasn’t still a great golfer? No. He is still a great golfer. Did this mean he was going to lose tournaments? No. He still wins them.
What’s the problem then? The problem is we expect role models not to screw up. We hold them to a higher level of output. Is that fair? I mean these people are great at their trade, but may have a lot of growth that’s needed in other areas of their life.
Athletes, writers, singers, they are fulfilling their purpose, they are doing what makes their soul happy. Its very easy to see that and want that for yourself. Especially if their trade is what you’ve always dreamed of doing. We may even take it an extra step and try to imitate them and dress like them, some how we think it will get us closer to our dream.
The truth is only YOU can bring you closer to your dream. Know yourself. Know what you like, don’t like, what kind of person you truly want to be. If you try to copy someone else, you may be disappointed. Just for the pure fact that you are dressing like Beyonce and your body type is Winona Ryder. The point is Be You!
When you live for you, you stop relying on someone else to do the work. Looking up to a role model means sometimes we see how their life progressed and think that that’s what we have to do. Well she went to this college, so I have to go there. She has 4 kids, maybe I should… I hope you are LOL’ing literally, because you know how ridiculous this sounds. What if your happiness doesn’t lie in having 4 kids? You will be sorely disappointed… and your poor 4 kids?
Look within, do the work and find out where your happiness lies. I am not saying don’t let people inspire you. Of course, look to these actors, athletes, poets, presidents and be reminded of how great someone can be if they believe in themselves. Don’t look at them to imitate their life path, or lifestyle. Its not yours.
So, as grateful as I am to be able to be someone’s role model. I have to say, please don’t do that to me. Because I may mess up. I may eat an extra piece of cake or take that shot of fireball that’s going to put me over the edge.
I spend about 95-98% of my life trying to be healthy, full of wellness. I spend maybe 2-5% living with the idea of moderation. If I want a piece of cake, its because I want cake. If I want a glass of wine, its because I want a glass of wine. Nothing outside of that, it doesn’t mean anything. Well it means, I’m still a work in progress too.
But if I was your role model and you don’t believe in drinking or eating sugar 100% of the time, you may put the pressure of “why are you drinking or eating cake?” on me, and that’s not good for anyone.
If you want to be a PT or a blogger or a mother or meditation teacher or … great! Let me inspire you to see that when you believe in your dream, your truth, yourself, you can do anything!
In the end we are all just souls in human form. We have life lessons, we have a journey. Look to someone else’s story as inspiration rather than something to model; so that you can tell your own story and let it inspire others…